The Legacy Center

Relationships Are Hard Work

admin — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 19:48:08 +0000

“Relationships are hard work.”…. I don’t share this belief. I hear people say this simple statement frequently. I would suggest that if your relationship is “hard work”, you might want to make it easier on yourself by reframing your basic beliefs about relationship. Here are some simple ideas that could help you in your relationship. When you get up in the morning, think about your partner and say to yourself “I love my partner and I know that he/she is doing the best that he/she can do”. Keep this thought with you through the day and particularly when your partner is tweaking you. By the way, if you do not believe that your partner is doing the best that they can do every day that is another issue for you to address to yourself. Another idea would be to reserve 20 – 30 minutes in the evening, after dinner, after the kids are in bed or are otherwise occupied and before you go to bed. During this time, share your day with one another with some attention paid to the feelings that accompanied your daily events. This is not a time to process or challenge…just share and say thank you….when you are listening, listen with curiosity and when you are sharing, speak to be known.

Nurture your relationship. By doing so, the children will thrive and your life together can grow and stay vital.

Donna Bevan-Lee, PhD., M.S.W.

Growth and Change

admin — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 19:32:27 +0000

Happy 2012 and welcome to our new Legacy Center blog! Donna, Kirsten and I will be sharing thoughts from time to time that we hope will be of help in your process of growth and change. In this first blog, I’d like to offer a few thoughts about change.

One of my favorite books is Scott Peck’s The Road Less Traveled. The book has a great opening line – just three words: “Life is difficult.” The same can be said of change. If change were easy, there’d be no need for gym memberships, or smoking cessation programs, or 12 Step groups. In therapy, the biggest reason why change is difficult is because it involves pain, the pain of facing issues we haven’t been ready or willing to face before. It’s ironic, isn’t it? We have to go through pain in order to move past the pain that brought us into therapy! As one person put it, recovery/therapy/growth is like jumping through a plate glass window into paradise. It often feels worse before it feels better.

As you move into this new year, Donna, Kirsten and I hope you will find enough challenge to keep you growing, and enough genuine growth to keep you encouraged.

Patrick Means, MA, LMHC

Thought for the Day: “We have to face the pain we have been running from. In fact, we need to learn to rest in it and let its searing power transform us.” Charlotte Joko Beck, quoted in Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, Ph.D.

Welcome!

admin — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 19:34:04 +0000

Welcome to our new website! This blog will serve a place to share information and ideas — through The Legacy Center therapists’ writings and also through Q and A with all of you who visit the site. Please feel free to email questions to us at info@thelegacycenternw.com. We will put our heads together and answer openly on the blog, unless you specify otherwise, and we will maintain confidentiality of names and other identifying info as much as possible. We hope that this blog will be utilized as a vehicle for more discussion and learning.